Monday, December 28, 2009

I Christen Thee, The Most Craptastic of Blogs.

Welp, here we go. Another day, another anonymous blog. But not really. Mostly I'm just out of things to say and I have to pee so lets make this quick, shall we?

You know me.
We may have kicked it passive aggressively back at my old blog, but now here we are... all unlocked and exposed. I know that feeling well. It was recent, actually. Funny story, in a majorly embarrassing yet mildly hysterical way. You know, like looking in porn section at the video store and having someone you know see you when you walk out. That's totally not what happened, BTW. OK, maybe this is nothing like that.

I've yet to decide just how anonymous I want to make this blog, so I may have to drink tonight and sort out aliases for alllll the people in my life. Or just say 'fuck it' and divulge all of my life's secrets here for the people I don't want to read them that stalk me on the internets. Shit. I'm at odds.

You know what? Fuck it.

Hi. I'm Momcraptastic. I have offspring. I have other people's offspring (just not in the sense that I stole them because seriously? Why steal them when you can make them for free? Anyway, who would want MORE of them when you have so many already?). I'm madly in love with someone that is stranger than I am. He's hot. Every time I get a pet someone rips it away from me so I'm not allowed to adopt them anymore, which is good because of the before mentioned mass quantity of minors in my house that aren't old enough to pick up poop, yet some still do in their pants. When I grow up I want to be Archaeologist so some rich guy will fly me out to his island of dinosaurs where I can take pictures. Really? You went all that way and didn't bring a CAMERA? TWICE. Jesus, Sam Neill. Get a clue.

I'm doing that resolution thing where I intend on posting every Monday. Right. We'll see. It's like promising your kids you'll go to Chuck E. Cheese "soon". You know... when it's not dripping with germs like a Ghostbusters sequel. ZUELLLL!

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